The four band members - Bono, The Edge, Adam thingy and the other one - have all etched their names on the back with a compass, like you’re all mates at school or something.
In return, you could etch your name on The Edge’s guitar and sell it back to him for five times what it was worth.
Me and a friend went through a period of making triple-decker sandwiches featuring fried slabs of spam as one of the primary ingredients.
I’m not sure whether this iSpam would be suitable. Presumably somebody’s had their hands all over it. I consider ‘hands’ to be significantly dirtier than, say, the floor.
This was made by Steve Lodefink. I found it via Idiot Toys‘ archives.
I tend to write these posts in bulk for each manufacturer. I’m midway through the Trekstor range and I’m already filled with a quite tangible sense of hatred.
It’s the childish, seemingly random, needlessly moronic naming policy they seem to have. I was about to start this sentence with ’sweez’ for example. Then I noticed that it’s not got a capital letter. If I put ’sweez’ at the start of the sentence, it looks like I’ve made a typo and I can’t stand that. If I put ‘Sweez’, it’s wrong and I hate that too.
What the bloody hell is ’sweez’ anyway? It’s nothing. It’s nothing at all. It’s just a stupid series of letters that need taking outside and being given a damn good shoeing.
During my third review, I noticed that it was ‘TrekStor’ and not ‘Trekstor’ as well. I’m not changing all the other reviews though. In fact, I’m sticking with ‘Trekstor’ even though it’s wrong. If the company themselves wilfully disregard anything approaching standards, why should I bow to theirs.
I can’t even be bothered looking at the specs for this MP3 player, I’m so annoyed. If you buy it you’re an idiot who funds other idiots - that’s all you need to know.
This MP3 player was made in about 1872, but it’s quite intriguing, so I’m covering it anyway.
One: ‘SwiMP3 player’. That’s a good name. There are enough terrible names for MP3 players around that a good name deserves to be lauded, even years after it was produced. That’s presuming it’s pronounced ’swim P 3′. If it isn’t, it’s a terrible name.
Two: It transmits sound through your bones. Honestly. It attaches to your goggle straps and vibrates your cheek bones.
Don’t listen to anything with too much bass unless you like the slack-jawed look.
In short, there’s a thing you put in your running shoe and it transmits data to your iPod. Your iPod can then tell you how much slower you’re running than a month ago when you were last inspired to do some exercise.
Apple and particularly Nike will tell you that you need the special Nike trainers to put the pedometer thing in, but you don’t.
This is just as well, because Nike trainers are really, really bad for running in. If you’ve got even the faintest intention of running further than the end of the road then you’ll break your feet if you wear Nike trainers. Despite what Nike tell you, their footwear isn’t designed for sport. It’s designed for looking like you do sport, which is entirely different.
A helix is a twisted, spiral sort of shape. Samsung’s Helix isn’t a helix.
Helix also manufactured ’shatter resistant’ rulers when I was a kid. Fittingly, we always tried to test the shatter resistance of these rulers by attempting to bend them into a helix. To a child ’shatter resistant’ means ‘indestructable’.
I now realise that all it meant was that when you broke the ruler by trying to make it into a helix, it snapped cleanly rather than smashing into hundreds of shards.
Can’t wait to see how this Helix breaks. Probably by being sat on while residing in a back pocket, I’d guess.
Here we see the Bono its natural habitat of the press conference.
In order to evade predators, this Bono has cleverly concealed itself behind two iPods.
Sadly, man’s influence is leading to smaller and smaller iPods, making it harder and harder for wild Bonos to escape detection.
If nothing is done to reverse this trend, the Bono may become a thing of the past before this decade is out.
Oh come on. Why do you have to trepan the poor little guy just so you’ve got somewhere to plug your headphones?
Look at his blank expression. He’s not enjoying the experience.
Tomy’s teddy bear MP3 player appeared on TechEBlog over a year ago. You probably can’t even get it any more.
Never let it be said that we don’t have our finger on the pulse when it comes to MP3 players.
It was only 18 months ago when this came out, so this is pretty good going for me.
Sony made a limited edition Franz Ferdinand MP3 player.
In my head, this was going to be a good update. Maybe not ‘funny’ or ‘informative’ but at the very least ‘colourful’.
[Drums fingers on table. Puts fingers on keyboard. Returns to drumming fingers. Clicks 'publish'.]
“TrekStor has received an order from Russian-Canadian billionaire and owner of the Midland Formula 1 team, Alex Shnaider, to develop the world’s most expensive MP3 player.”
Note that he didn’t request, say, ‘the world’s best MP3 player’. He requested the most expensive. Foolishly, Trekstor went down the ‘making it gold and gluing on some diamonds’ route.
What I’d have done would have been to pick the cheapest MP3 player in their range, drawn a dollar sign on it and charged him a million of the currency of his choice - preferably British pounds because they’re so much bigger than any other currency.
Why is this Egge a ‘twoway’ and other Brainic Egges aren’t? No idea. Let’s guess - like usual.
It can play music which you can listen to, or you can sing at the Egge and it’ll have to put up with you.
That’s the only suggestion I’ve got. Not sure why the Egge or the Egge Simple won’t let you do that.
Samsung say: “Just clip this super-slim flash player onto your belt and you’re ready to go!”
Go where? Where the hell would you dare go with anything strapped to your belt? Has no-one told Samsung that if you have something affixed to your belt, you’re instantly uncool.
It’s because it’s ‘practical’. Being practical is very, very, deeply uncool.
I should know.
Oh dear Lord. Will you look at this thing.
Imagine owning it. Even worse: Imagine being seen with it. It’s too horrifying to contemplate.
Is it supposed to hang from your belt or what? That would be monumentally stupid. Surely you’re asking for that knife-and-a-moped, cutting-the-strap trick that thieves perfected for hand bags.
Actually, maybe its in-built protection from that method of theft is its hideous, hideous appearance.
Samsung’s Nexus 25 can receive live XM Radio reception when connected to a home docking station or car dock. Surely the home and the car are two places where you can quite easily get radio reception. At least you could last time I checked, which was in 1996.
This may be a slightly unfair criticism, but I think it looks boring as well. Ordinarily I consider the appearance of MP3 players to be entirely irrelevant. It’s a sign that I’ve been looking at too many of late.
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